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Yay! I've missed you LJ ... don't poop out on me again. -_-

I want to fuss a little just to get this out of my system. My figure drawing teacher really upset me yesterday, and I can sort of see where she's coming from, but at the same time her methods don't work well on me. In fact they make me want to throw my arms up in the air and give up. She had told us that it was a free work day and we could work on any of the pieces that we chose to. I decided I wanted to work on my reductive ground piece because after yesterday I wouldn't be able to look at the girl who posed for me when we sketched it out. Well, I was having anatomy problems first and she graciously (yet I could tell that she was a little annoyed with me) helped me see what I was messing up. Next time she came to look at it she fussed over the fact that I hadn't started on the highlights. Well, the girl was working on her self-portrait and I didn't want to make her stop and sit for me. I was doing the best I could just glancing over at her. Next time my teacher came by she told me that I didn't understand value. Final time by she flatly told me I needed to look at her. I was! You can't defend your work in there. It's very annoying! I got so used to defending choices in Digital Media that I forgot how certain art instructors could be.

After last night I felt horrible. I felt like that was it, I just was a failure and had been fooling myself all this time that I could draw, but she gave me a 96 on my skeleton still life. A 96!! Maybe that's why she's so annoyed with me, but if I go to her and tell her that it's because I'm having to use charcoal she'll just see that as an excuse. Me and charcoal don't get along very well. Yes I love it for quick gestural drawings, but I cannot do a finished drawing in it unless it's a still life. It just never looks right. I don't know. I'm frustrated and so is she I suppose. I love drawing people, but it's the people that live in my head that I enjoy drawing. I don't mind doing quick sketches from life to see how light falls etc, but I want to do it in pencil please. Plus she is the metals/clay teacher ... 3-D art. She's a very good portrait artist, but I don't see things the way she does. I don't see shapes, I see lines. I think my drawing method is just too different? I'm not sure. I'm trying not to get depressed again. I think working on Dragonfly tonight will make me feel better. ^__^