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Yearly post

So, I'm making a yearly post to say I'm still here and to ensure my blog doesn't go away. Good news though (if anyone is still here and reading this), I am writing again and I actually hope to finish Dragonfly by the end of the year and hopefully work on that pirate story that I never got further into.

Will post more later!
So I can't believe this is still here. Just wanted to say 'hi' to anyone reading this, and that things are well. I've gone through a lot lately and I may start writing about it on here. The only problem with that would be this blog is associated with my fan fiction, but you know I'm not ashamed of that. So yeah, I think I'll actually start using this again.



Yay! I've missed you LJ ... don't poop out on me again. -_-

I want to fuss a little just to get this out of my system. My figure drawing teacher really upset me yesterday, and I can sort of see where she's coming from, but at the same time her methods don't work well on me. In fact they make me want to throw my arms up in the air and give up. She had told us that it was a free work day and we could work on any of the pieces that we chose to. I decided I wanted to work on my reductive ground piece because after yesterday I wouldn't be able to look at the girl who posed for me when we sketched it out. Well, I was having anatomy problems first and she graciously (yet I could tell that she was a little annoyed with me) helped me see what I was messing up. Next time she came to look at it she fussed over the fact that I hadn't started on the highlights. Well, the girl was working on her self-portrait and I didn't want to make her stop and sit for me. I was doing the best I could just glancing over at her. Next time my teacher came by she told me that I didn't understand value. Final time by she flatly told me I needed to look at her. I was! You can't defend your work in there. It's very annoying! I got so used to defending choices in Digital Media that I forgot how certain art instructors could be.

After last night I felt horrible. I felt like that was it, I just was a failure and had been fooling myself all this time that I could draw, but she gave me a 96 on my skeleton still life. A 96!! Maybe that's why she's so annoyed with me, but if I go to her and tell her that it's because I'm having to use charcoal she'll just see that as an excuse. Me and charcoal don't get along very well. Yes I love it for quick gestural drawings, but I cannot do a finished drawing in it unless it's a still life. It just never looks right. I don't know. I'm frustrated and so is she I suppose. I love drawing people, but it's the people that live in my head that I enjoy drawing. I don't mind doing quick sketches from life to see how light falls etc, but I want to do it in pencil please. Plus she is the metals/clay teacher ... 3-D art. She's a very good portrait artist, but I don't see things the way she does. I don't see shapes, I see lines. I think my drawing method is just too different? I'm not sure. I'm trying not to get depressed again. I think working on Dragonfly tonight will make me feel better. ^__^


So ... I just did this:


Right now it just has my unfinished portfolio on it, but it'll soon have my fanfiction and other stuff ... :D



I'm working on Dragonfly ...

Books, stories, and character deaths

Okay so I still feel the need to get this off my chest because although I'm not as angry as I was two days ago it's still bothering me. (Note: I won't say what book it is unless you point blank ask me, I don't want to spoil it for anyone who wants to read it).

First off there should always be a reason that you kill off a main character (or a side character for that matter). It needs to play a part in pushing the plot forward. I don't ever feel that there is a reason to simply kill a character just because you can or you want to make your readers sad (or love the fact that it's so tragic ... I feel like the readers/viewers who feel that way have never actually experienced loss -- I used to be one of those before anyone jumps on me). So getting to why I'm ranting about this, it's a book series that I just finished and I totally disagree with how the author ended the story. She killed the main character and there was NO reason for it other than to make the other characters suffer. That's sick. I'm sorry but it is and I'm still pissed off over it. The story was so good up until the end. *sigh*

Now a lot of people complain about certain authors killing off characters and doing it many times over. I can't speak on George R.R. Martin or Stephen Moffat (because he's never actually killed anyone on Doctor Who), but I can speak on J.K. Rowling and Joss Whedon (the apparent king of killing characters). First off: both of these writers' characters' deaths were calculated and pushed the story forward (for the most part). I'm going to start with three of Ms. Rowling's decisions (Fred, Tonks, Lupin) -- many people think that their deaths were pointless; however they I argue that they were not -- if memory serves me correctly what Fred's death did was to make his mother angry so I guess that would be a viable reason (I may be wrong about this one, it's been a while since I read it). The other two were just cruel, but casualties do happen in a war and that I can understand -- they also weren't the main characters; however, while reading the book for the first time, I did have problems with the fact that she killed them. I remember thinking 'why did she do that? Why can't they live and let nameless ones die?' Well the answer would be that the ending wouldn't have been as powerful if she hadn't. Their deaths were justified. She understands the gravity of choosing to kill off a character and how hard it can be.

Now onto Joss Whedon. Everyone loves to fuss about how he relishes in killing his characters, but anyone who has read any interviews with him would know that he does not enjoy it. He makes calculated decisions based on where he's going with his story. I could sit here and go through each character death from Tara (Buffy TVS) to Coulson (although that's not his character and Coulson lives so ...); however, I will just simply say that I get tired of people saying things like, "don't get too attached, the moment you do they'll die", which happens in real life, but like I said before, each character death is calculated -- not to cause the most pain, but to push the story forward.

Back to why I'm writing this. When I read the last scene in which the main character was in, I continued to think that there's no way she was dead because it made no sense, but then as I read on I realized that she had killed her. There was no reason for it. It didn't help the story one bit, all it did was make me dislike the book. In the Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins could've easily killed Katniss in that last battle, but she didn't ... Katniss lived. Why didn't she kill her? Because it didn't make any sense, and in this particular book it was basically the same set up, it was the final battle and she had completed her mission to protect her friends and allow everyone to choose their own way of life, but instead of waking up in a hospital bed from her wounds she DIED. Why? I don't know. The last part was the man whom she loved saying that knowing her had changed him and that he was better for having known her. I understand that, but I don't see why she had to die. Maybe the whole purpose was to make you angry and to appreciate everything because it's fleeting. I don't know, but I'm still mad.

To sum up: I will NEVER kill a character unless there is a good reason behind it, and it will be at an appropriate time. Truthfully that story should've ended with her death, not gone one for about 40 more pages. Hopefully I can come to terms with this and move on ... actually writing this out has made me kind of accept it, but not really.


I need to do a sequel to WuFei's Innocent Play. He did vow to write a better one ... Maybe this one should take place in college and have smut? :D

Ummm ... GW Story?

Okay so I'm going through my old files, and I came across this Gundam Wing short story. I'm not certain if it's mine or not. It doesn't read like my writing but then I can be a chameleon sometimes with my voice. I'm posting it so I can find out if it's mine or someone else's. I'm like 90% sure it's mine, but you never know ...

Story: Gundam Wing Short
Characters: Duo Maxwell (young)
Rating: PG (mention of death and violence)

Story Here...Collapse )

Okay, so I really do feel like I wrote this, and that I was going to use it somewhere; however, I never posted it that I know of so that's why I'm scratching my head over it.
Since the last time I posted:

I had a horrible last semester at school, but at the same time it made me pause and seriously consider what I was working toward. Did I want to continue with 3-D or did I want to do something different? The answer was something different. There's an amazing teacher in the Digital Media department who sat down with me and looked at my work. We talked for over an hour about my concerns and what I was wanting to do with my career. It led me to the realization that I love art more than anything and that's what I want to focus on. So, I am back in the art program working toward becoming a 2-D artist/graphic designer/eventual concept artist. I feel settled and in the right place now. I've only got a couple of semesters left even though I'm having to split my last one into two, but that's okay.

I finally got a job, but then I got my old job back five months after that. I know I had said that I didn't want to go back there, but it's actually very different now and I love it! I answer the phones and deal with customer orders. Not a bad job really, except for those few customers that are grumpy, but I can typically handle them since it's not face to face.

My dad's still having medical problems because of his diabetes. I try to help as much as I can, but he's stubborn and I have little patience sometimes when it comes to his stubbornness mostly because I have the same stubborn streak.

Um ... well I think that about covers it. I'm going to try and write some tomorrow, but I'm making no promises. It seems like every time I say that nothing comes of it. -_-'


Tree of Inspiration

Tree of Inspiration
Original so you can see the detail in it. :)

My final project in Raster. I'm really happy with this one to be honest. It's all hand drawn in Photoshop (except for the leaves I used a brush for those).


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May 2016


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